mulletratio.com

up until i was 14 or 15 i had this obsessive compulsive way of eating or chewing. i would split all food or gum in half and chew (what felt like) a perfect half of edible goodness on each side of my mouth.

i always wondered why i did this, but talking to melissa and other close friends has made me realize that it's all because of my grandmother.

when i was 4 she had to force me to eat. you'd never know this by looking at photos with my chubby face and belly. so she told me that there were two little birds in my belly and if i didn't eat, they didn't eat, so i better feed them. and i believed her! i started splitting all my bites in half, thinking that one half would go to one bird and the other half to it's mate. so for 10+ years i had this horrible habbit and didn't know why. i eventually broke the habit when i realized what the hell i was doing, but i didn't realize why exactly until recently.

so thanks, abuela.

i'm sitting outside of panera bread with savina in the villages (huge retirement community) killing time before work. this place gives me the creeps. one time i came in during the dinner rush with my laptop to use the internet and every old bastard in the place stopped what they were doing and stared at me. it was like a bad dream where you're on stage trying to picture everyone naked because of how uncomfortable you are, except worse. they (ALL) watched me walk to the bathroom, order my food, and sit down.